Notre Dating

I’ve heard more often than not that the dating culture at Notre Dame, or “Notre Dating”, is unusual. I disagree though, I think the dating culture is strange in our generation, that this is a not a problem isolated to Notre Dame. The fact that we have single sex dorms, that many students identify as Catholic, or at least religious, and that we have an entire department related to gender relations may give the perception that our culture is atypical, but I’d like to offer a different conclusion: that our entire generation has lost its understanding of what it means to date.

Growing up in society today, young men and women are taught that we must go to the best college possible, focus on our careers, be leaders within our clubs or dorms and everything in between. Peer pressure teaches us that we must look like we are having a great time on the weekend, that we have to be up to date on the latest music, TV shows, celebrity scandals and make sure we have at least a couple of Instagram and SnapChat -able moments throughout the week. Young women have the added pressure of being up to date on the latest fashion trends and young men must finish the newest X-box or PlayStation game and know every possible fact about sports. Oh yea, and don’t forget about classes, you need to get straight A’s. All of this adds up to a lot of pressure, little time for sleep and even less time for relationships; it’s no wonder that we no longer know how to date, we don’t have time for it!

This mountain of pressure and stress, however, does not have the power to overtake our natural desire to love and to be loved. Instead, the pressure allows this desire to manifest itself in a way that is entirely unhealthy. Our generation has managed to replace traditional dating with hook-ups and one night stands. We have been trained to not get attached, check our emotions at the door and allow our physical desires to rule. In some ways, I would argue that we are not responsible for this mindset. We have grown up in a culture in which half of all marriages end up in divorce, we are constantly bombarded with messages from the media that relationships ought to be casual and that we are not worthy of love until we have attained bodily perfection. Yet it is childish to suggest that we are not responsible for our own actions.

In many ways you can argue that this atypical dating culture is because so many of us have grown up in broken homes or witnessed friends struggle with their family. While I think there is a prevalent misunderstanding of marriage that attributes to this culture, I also think there is a prevalent misunderstanding of dating and the goals of dating. What does it mean to date? At what point are we ready to date? And what does dating entail?

These are questions that I’ve heard professors speak about, that I’ve had discussions with friends about and that I’ve struggled to understand myself. To me, dating must have a goal, without which it loses its purpose. The goal of dating seems obvious in my mind, to find the person you are going to marry. But does this mean you have to be ready to get married before you start dating someone? I don’t think so. Marriage is the complete union of two people, it is not something that you can prepare for by yourself and so it makes no sense that you would be ready for marriage before you find someone to marry. I do think, however, that you have to be open to the possibility of marriage in the next few years before you start dating. I’ve heard a professor tell students that dating can only end two ways: in heart break or in marriage. Following this logic, we ought to be mature enough to consider the idea of marriage, otherwise we are simply on a self-destructive path. This goal, this understanding of why we want to date, seems so lost in college life today. I have heard many people say that they want a significant other and yet it seems like we don’t consider what this commitment may entail, and whether we are even ready for commitment. While there is no perfect answer, it is certainly something worth considering and taking an introspective look at, as well as a conversation worth having with friends and family, or someone you are considering dating.

This Wednesday night, Campus Ministry’s event Theology on Tap provides the perfect atmosphere to have this discussion in a relaxed atmosphere with friends and classmates. Join Bree Haler at 8pm at Legends as she discusses the two different extremes of trends in today’s romantic relationships. (All ages welcome).

The University's Call to Love

Two and a half years ago I was confronted with a difficult decision, whether to remain at Providence College where I spent my freshman year or to transfer to Notre Dame, which had always been my dream school. After my first semester at Providence, I really did not even want to apply to transfer to Notre Dame. I loved it. I had great friends, professors who pushed me and a supportive atmosphere. After some encouragement from my parents, however, I decided to apply and was thrilled to be accepted. Even after I received the acceptance I was unsure of my decision. On the final day to send in my letter of acceptance, I was in the car driving through the Blue Mountain Ridge on my way to a family vacation and made my decision to dive in, challenging myself to leave my comfort zone and transfer to Notre Dame.

It wasn’t until I became involved in various activities on campus that I realized that what made Notre Dame so special was its true Catholic identity. Not to say that Providence wasn’t Catholic but that Notre Dame has really been challenged as an institution, constantly criticized and forced to stand strong to protect its Catholic mission.

Last week, the University of Notre Dame received a special blessing from Pope Francis I. Pope Francis’ remarks were one of accolade and a reminder to stay true to the true mission of Notre Dame – to the “missionary spirit” which inspired Fr. Sorin to found Notre Dame in 1842. As we celebrate the 200th birthday of Fr. Sorin, Pope Francis’ words are a reminder to stay true to our beliefs, “It is my hope that the University of Notre Dame will continue to offer unambiguous testimony to this aspect of its foundational Catholic identity, especially in the face of efforts, from whatever quarter, to dilute that indispensable witness. And this is important: its identity, as it was intended from the beginning. To defend it, to preserve it and to advance it!”.

The Catholic mission of Notre Dame is what makes me so proud when I tell people that I go to Notre Dame. This mission is constantly shown in various events and activities on campus from Appalachia trips sponsored by the Center for Social Concerns to various worship and leadership opportunities supported by Campus Ministry. This weekend, Notre Dame will host the Edith Stein conference on campus, showing once again that Notre Dame is not only dedicated to educating the mind but to feeding the spirit.

The Edith Stein conference is a yearly tradition centered on the life and teaching of St. Edith Stein who dedicated her life as a Carmelite sister and died in Auschwitz, unwilling to deny her faith. This year’s theme is “Relationships and the Call to Love”, based off of Blessed Pope John Paul II’s call to love as “the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being”. The conference, though open to all, is specifically geared toward Catholic women, highlighting Notre Dame’s dedication to advancing the understanding of the role of women in the Catholic Church. The various conference speakers will address the question of exploring how “the differences between men and women [can] beseen as gifts, and not limitations”.

Notre Dame is a special university not because it is Catholic but because it is committed to educating the mind and the heart, just as Congregation of Holy Cross founder, Basil Moreau intended. The Edith Stein conference is yet another example of Notre Dame’s dedication to its student body and a reminder of why I’m proud to say that I am now a member of the Irish community.

Registration for the conference is free to all ND/SMC/HCC participants, registration and an entire conference schedule can be found here.

Catholic Social Teaching

Entering into my senior year this past August, I decided that I should seize the opportunity to learn more about the Catholic Church while I had access to some of the best theologians in the world. Almost by chance I stumbled upon and ended up adding the Catholic Social Tradition minor. I was looking for a class that offered the opportunity to study some of the papal encyclicals, writings that I did not even know existed until I came to Notre Dame. The class that offered this opportunity was the Catholic Social Tradition minor introductory class and while I was at first hesitant about the class, it ended up opening my eyes to a new perspective on the Church’s teaching.

Catholic Social Teaching is an aspect of our faith that is often forgotten about, regularly referred to as the Church’s Best Kept Secret. The Gospels and the life of Jesus Christ lay the foundation for Catholic Social Teaching. Although this foundation was laid over 2,000 years ago, the philosophy and term “Catholic Social Teaching” did not come about until a series of encyclicals were written on the idea of social teaching. Beginning with Rerum Novarum by Pope Leo XIII in 1891 and continuing today with Lumen Fidei by Pope Francis, the past 100+ years have featured prolific writing on thephilosophy of Catholic Social Teaching. So what is Catholic Social Teaching and why is it that we don’t hear more about it?

At its core, Catholic Social Teaching is a call to love and protect human dignity, most especially the dignity of the poor. Through the recognition of the dignity of the poor blossoms a commitment to improve the circumstances of the poor. We come to recognize this inherent dignity and this commitment through our experiences of Christ in the Eucharist, God humbling himself out of love for us. In seeking to understand Christ, we are often called to study his life. The life of Christ portrays a complete commitment to the poor. Consider that Jesus was born in a manger, the Holy Family fleeing from persecution and that he made a living as a carpenter. Jesus could have been born into any circumstances he chose. He could have been born an earthly king as well as a heavenly one and yet he chose to be among the poorest of the poor. This decision to live among the poor provides a lesson that no other king has been able to provide because Jesus truly lived out his teaching.

In the story of the Rich Young Man seeking to follow Jesus, Jesus told the young man “if you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me” (Matthew 19:21). Jesus’s life and teaching revolve around a commitment to the poor, to loving those whom he considers his equals. This tenement is at the core of Catholic Social Teaching, this is how Jesus calls us to live our lives.

While the call to love and the model of Jesus’s life are a powerful foundation, in my Introduction to Catholic Social Teaching class, I found that the prolific writing on Catholic Social Teaching challenged many beliefs I had always believed to be endorsed by the Catholic Church. This class challenged be to come to a deeper understanding of my faith by way of reason, forcing me to examine and grapple with my beliefs rather than assume them to be true. In my next blog post I will expand upon the aspects of Catholic Social Teaching that I most struggled with and my perspective on them. 

What it Means to be Pro-Life: An Advocate for Love

As the current ND March for Life Trip Coordinator and former President and Treasurer of ND Right to Life, these past years have been an eye-opening experience of the inner workings of the pro-life movement. From standing in the cold rain at a life chain with St.Joseph County Right to Life to leading the National March for Life inWashington D.C. to volunteering at the Women’s Care Center to lighting candle after candle at the Grotto for the end to abortion, being pro-life has come to permeate every aspect of my life. I did not set out to let being pro-life define me but as I learned more about what being pro-life truly means, I realized that I could not truthfully call myself pro-life and limit this ideal to one aspect of my life. Along my journey in the pro-life movement, I have discovered some important truths about being pro-life that I hope to share with you.

                I have often found that there is a huge misperception of what being pro-life means in society today.  I have sat in classroom debates, had conversations and often been accused of being a bad person for being pro-life. It is through these encounters where I have realized that the pro-life movement is much more than a legal battle, it is a battle for hearts. Most commonly the thought goes, “you’re pro-life, so you’re against abortion, right?” or “don’t women deserve the freedom to decide what should happen to their body?” While being pro-life means not supporting abortion, it means so much more than that. By its very definition, being “pro-life” means being “for life”. When I say I am pro-life I mean that I am constantly striving to love life, to love my life and to love and cherish the lives of those around me. It is as simple as saying, “I want to love”. Not in this romantic, Disney-esque fairy-tale way, but in a love that allows Christ to shine through in everyone. As pro-lifers we are called not to judge but to love. We do not seek to simply end abortion or euthanasia but to love our neighbors enough that they do not have to face these difficult decisions. It is not our place to look down on those who have chosen a decision we disagree with, it is our place to call them our brother or sister and regard them as a person whose dignity is irrevocable.

                As a pro-lifer, I believe in the inherent dignity in all human life. I believe that this dignity deserves to be cherished and celebrated. As a member of the pro-life movement I cannot just oppose abortion, euthanasia and the death penalty. To only oppose abortion and not seek to understand the position of a woman in a crisis pregnancy or a family member hoping to ease the suffering of their elderly grandparent, would be a hypocritical stance. In order to truly promote a culture of life, the pro-life movement seeks to support women in crisis pregnancies, to assist those with mental or physical handicaps and to treat the elderly as beloved members of the human community. Service is just as much a pro-life act as protesting the Roe v. Wade court decision in Washington D.C. The goal of the pro-life movement is not to create legislative change but to create cultural change. To change a culture of death into a culture of life.    

           

                This week (Oct. 6^th- 12^th), the Notre Dame Right to Life Club celebrates Respect Life Week. This week includes a series of events to advocate and promote what it means to be pro-life. We, as a club, seek to challenge the Notre Dame student body. This week we challenge those who consider themselves to be pro-life to consider what that truly means in their lives. We challenge those who consider themselves pro-choice to consider why they hold these beliefs, and most importantly, for those on both ends of the spectrum to enter into discussion with those of opposing beliefs.     

  

                I'd like to invite all those in South Bend to attend the various events surrounding Respect Life Week. On Tuesday, Oct. 8th, join the ND Community in a Rosary for Life with Fr. Jenkins at 6:30 pm in the Basilica. Tuesday night at 8pm we will be setting up a pro-life display on South Quad, all are welcome to come out and help! On Wednesday, Oct. 9th, the National Director of the March for Life, Jeanne Monahan, will give a lecture on "What Does it Mean to be Pro-Life?" at 8pm in Mendoza Auditorium. On Thursday, all are invited to share the gift of life through donating blood on Bond Quad from 10am - 3pm and join us for a candlelight vigil at 11pm on South Quad. We will conclude the week on Friday with a LifeFest on South Quad from 5pm-7pm, come celebrate the gift of life with us!

Along my journey toward understanding what it means to be pro-life, I have heard many outstanding speeches, witnessed martyrs to the cause and come to know some of the most loving people. One of the most powerful questions I’ve been asked is this: as U.S. citizens we’ve grown up in the era following the end of slavery and racial discrimination. It is easy, in hindsight, to question our grandparents and great-grandparents, where were you when these atrocities were committed? What did you do to end this terrible evil? It is clear that we are not all called to dedicate our lives to the pro-life cause, but we are all called to witness to the dignity in each and every life.  And so I challenge you to ask yourself this, when your children or grandchildren realize that we lived in a time when it was legal to kill a person based off of their stage of development or their health, what will your response be to the question of what did you do to help change our culture into a beloved culture of life?

If you or someone you know has personally been affected by an abortion and would like to talk to someone about it, please contact Project Rachel at: (888) 456-HOPE

If you or someone you know finds themselves in a crisis pregnancy, please contact: 1(800) 848- LOVE and remember that Notre Dame’s policy is that it is committed to life and to providing resources that support the choice of life.